Who needs women when you have cute boys?
by Inconsistant Writer
Summary: After getting cheated on for the 15th time, our protagonist's life gets completely changed as he is sent into the body of a dying young man after acquiring special abilities and a small curse by a mischevious Goddess. (Gamer OP Eventual Yaoi)
1. Chapter 1

**WARNING:  
THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ANYTHING BUT A MILDLY FUNNY FIC AND SOMETHING TO WRITE TO PASS TIME, DO NOT EXPECT MUCH.  
****GAY SHIT VERY MUCH INVOLVED EVENTUALLY AFTER THIS POINT IF NOT INTERESTED DON'T CONTINUE READING.**

* * *

**\/-\/**

* * *

Another day, another dime.

Lately, things have been mostly normal, one could even say good.

After finally getting a job, even though it is part-time, and getting back with my girlfriend things just seem to be going for the better for me.

"I'm back!"

As I shouted at the entrance of the door I walked inside, I could hear murmurs and the rummaging of clothes, as I walked into the bedroom to see what was going on I came across a scene that was all too familiar to me.

"Uuuuh, it's not what it looks like."

The female voice belonged to the woman laying naked covered only by the blanket and the rummaging of clothes belonging to a man putting his clothes on whom I knew too well.

At this point all I could honestly do was sigh.

"Evening dude..."

"Evening Mike..."

Massaging the point between my eyes I replied to my best friend and ex-coworker, the confusion appeared clear in the eyes of the who- I mean, my girlfriend, as she looked between him and me.

I started walking toward the closet and took my jacket out.

"Wait! Alex! Where are you going?"

"I'm going out to drink, hope to not find you here when I come back."

As I walked towards the door I looked back at Mike.

"Wanna come?"

He simply looked kinda surprised by the question but quickly replied.

"Sure man."

* * *

**\/-\/**

* * *

"The third time, can you believe this shit? I'm so numb to all of this."

Mike scratched the back of his head as he drank with me, I just needed someone to rant to and he was there so I simply took advantage of the situation, I knew he was kind of a pushover so he would accept, he spent the first 20 minutes apologizing and saying he regretted his actions but I didn't care anymore.

"Honestly, I can, that girl is a whore, no offence though."

"None took."

As I finished saying that I downed another glass of Whiskey and Coke as Mike kept sipping a Scotch with ice.

"I mean, you're not even the first dude, and this is over multiple relationships, I don't know why but every time I date some girl every single time I get cheated on, is it me? Am I somehow the one fucking it up?"

"I don't think so man, you're a pretty great dude, maybe you've just had bad luck?"

I could already notice my words slurring a bit and my hearing going to shit.

"I'm gonna go sleep at a motel."

"You want me to drive you?"

I simply gave a small chuckle and shook my head.

Walking towards my used car I opened the door, sat down, shoved the key inside the hole and turned it on.

The car came to life as the engine, lights and radio automatically turned on.

_Someone said they left together_

_I ran out the door to get her_

_She was holding hands with Trevor_

_Not the greatest feeling ever_

"Jesus Christ are you for real..?"

With a sigh, I turned the radio off.

I kept on driving with only silence as a company until I came across something strange, a woman sitting on the side of the road with a sign that said "RIDE PLEASE", thinking to myself what's the worst that could happen, the answer clearly was a lot of things but I was too inebriated to care, I pulled over and rolled the window down.

"Hey."

She looked up and smiled, quickly standing up and getting close to the window.

"Evening, wanna give me a ride to the city?"

"Sure, hop on the back."

As soon as the words came out of my mouth she opened the back door and went inside with a backpack.

She seemed quiet until 10 minutes into the ride when she started asking questions.

"So, this is how you pick up women? Just grab them off the road?"

"Good one, I don't think I'm gonna pick up any women for a long time though."

Shaking my head and laughing lightly I replied.

She made a face that expressed clear confusion and asked.

"Why is that?"

After another 20-minute rant deviating once or twice into useless topics, her reaction to all of this was to laugh really loudly as she held her stomach.

"Hahahaha! You're telling me this happened multiple times!? Oh, dude! Hahahaha!"

"Oh fuck off..."

I replied annoyed as she wiped a few tears from her eyes.

"Honestly at that point just become gay, or like date traps or something."

"Traps? Like the anime ones?"

Nodding her head I was drunk enough to actually think about it, a cute guy, a cute feminine guy, that doesn't sound so bad, all the perks of a girl but with the non-bitchy attitude.

"Honestly, seems like a good idea."

She simply just smiled at my words and started saying weird shit.

"Hey, what if you had another chance to start your life? Like in an Isekai novel, Would you date cute guys?"

Putting on a confused expression I replied.

"Why does it have to be another life?"

She simply just laughed and hit me on the shoulder.

"Just reply dumbass."

Sighing to myself I thought about it for a bit, another life in some kinda Isekai novel? A cute elf trap, now I wouldn't refuse something like that, or maybe it's just the alcohol speaking, at this point, I don't really care.

"Seems good to be quite honest, what else can I tell you?"

She just laughed again.

"It does, doesn't it?"

"I don't get what you're getting at to be hon-"

As I looked at the back seat through the mirror I realized there was no one there, doing a double-take I actually turned my body around to look but found no one.

"What the fuck..?"

Was I hallucinating? Did I drink too much? What the fuck is going on?

Looking back at the road I had about half a second to look at the girl that was previously in the back seat, she was now standing in front of the road, instincts kicking in I immediately turned the wheel around, straight into the direction of a tree.

"Oh shi-"

And like that the world went black.

* * *

**\/-\/**

* * *

When I opened my eyes I found myself in an all-black room with nothing in it but a big light shining down on a portion of it.

"Where the fuck am I?"

As I walked around for a bit I finally decided to move to where the light was, as soon as I stepped on it I felt a pressure similar to a ton fall on my shoulders and force me to the ground.

"Agh! Fuck!"

As I hit the floor the pressure disappeared and I started to slowly stand up, my brain was slowly being filled with information, the first and most important point that stood out in my brain was that I died.

"Are you for real..?"

I asked the air but no one replied, out of nowhere a small transparent white with golden frame window appeared in front of me.

【**Which difficulty do you wish to proceed with?****】  
**【**Very Easy**|**Easy**|**Normal**|**Hard**|**Very ****Hard**|**Nightmare**】

Reading this prompt, the information slowly began to flow into my brain again, an ability to see the world like some type of RPG...

"I'm not a fucking idiot, you already know my choice."

I raised my finger and picked Very Easy because who in their right mind would want a hard life on purpose.

【**You've been granted 3 Perk Coins and 2 Skill Coins!****】**

As soon as I read that text a slots machine fell from the sky right in front of me scaring the shit outta me, in my pocket the jingle of something could be heard, shoving my hand inside it, I took out 5 coins 3 with the letter P in Old English font and 2 with the letter S on the same font.

Getting closer I read the instructions in the machine which were basically just "Insert coin, Pull the lever.", I took out one of the coins that had appeared in my pocket and put it inside, the machine suddenly came to life and the words "PERK COIN INSERTED!" glowed on the front of it, I pulled on the lever and hoped for the best.

【**Gained the Perk ****«****Alluring Nightingale****»****!****】  
**【**Acording**** to your difficulty selection you're able to try as many times as you want, would you like to try again?****】**

How the fuck do I know what it does?

【**Basic Skill ****«Observe» has been added!****】**

As the knowledge of how to use skills fills my brain as I mutter the word observe under my breath.

**【****Alluring Nightingale****[****Expert****]****】**

_Gives the user the ability to sing beautifully and speak as though every word coming from their mouth was a __masterfully __composed song._

**Grants the ability to Charm a target with voice  
****Grants the ability to more easily convince a target  
****Doubles affection gain with the target of the voice.**

Holy shit, this seems like an amazing Perk, wait, I was told I could try as many times as I want, and time doesn't seem to flow here, and no one is pressuring me to pick quickly.

A small smile broke on my face as the thoughts of the things I could get appeared.

"Just a bit more..."

As I said that I pulled the lever down again.

* * *

**\/-\/**

* * *

I found it.

Slowly I had been trying to find something that would be overpowered and completely ridiculous, and I had finally found it after countless hours of searching.

**【The Luck of the Nameless God****】**

_The user is fated to live a life of only the highest quality of Luck and wealth reality can provide._

**Eliminates the Luck Stat.  
****The user will always find loot and the quality of this will be Ranked Up by 3 Levels.  
****Any type of monetary related rewards will be multiplied by 100.  
****Any good thing that might happen to the user will happen.  
****Guarantees beneficial encounters for the user.  
****Once in a while, something special might happen.**

A named perk, according to the information I have that's the highest rank they can go.

【**Do you wish to keep ****«****The Luck of the Nameless God****»****?****】**

【**Yes|No】**

"Fuck yeah."

Quickly tapping yes I got a notification about Luck being removed from my status page.

I quickly opened it to confirm.

**Name:** n/a  
**Title:** n/a  
**Race:** n/a  
**EXP: **0/400  
**HP:** 0/0  
**MP:** 0/0

**STR:** 0  
**VIT:** 0  
**DEX:** 0  
**INT:** 0  
**WIS:** 0  
**CHA:** 0  
**Status Points:** 0

It was indeed gone, which means it worked.

Smiling to myself I got back to work...

* * *

**\/-\/**

* * *

The quality of the perks had indeed skyrocketed since finding the **«****The Luck of the Nameless God****» **Perk, but I couldn't find another named Perk no matter how many times I tried.

I don't know how many hours I spent trying it didn't give me another named Perk.

After some more hours, or could it had been days?

Anyways, as I kept trying eventually a small white and gold window appeared in front of my face.

【**You can only acquire 1 Named Perk and 1 Named Skill from the Slot Machine.****】**

I just looked at the window, and slowly let out a sigh as I closed it.

"If you know that say something sooner..."

Relaxing and getting rid of my annoyance, I resumed pulling the lever until I found 2 more perks to settle for.

The first one was **«Potential»** for the simple reason that it seemed like the most logical option.

**【Natural ****Potential****[****Divine****]****】**

_The user's potential is practically limitless, with enough determination and hard work even the Heavens aren't too far._

**Raises the user's level cap to the Maximum Level allowed on their Race.  
****Raises the user's stat cap to the Maximum Stats allowed on their Race.  
****The user is able to learn things quicker this results in a 10x multiplier to all EXP Gained.  
****The user is able to go past their limits more easily when training this results in a 5x multiplier to all Stats Gained.**

The second one was **«Speedster Physiology»** because since I was a kid I've always adored Speedsters, and God damn it if I'm not gonna enjoy my new life to the fullest.

**【****Speedster Physiology****[****Divine****]****】**

_The user possesses a body designed for movement at immense speeds._

**The user has an accelerated metabolism, rendering them resistant to weight gain, illness, injury, and accelerating their healing speed.  
****The user's mind and senses process information at such speeds that time appears to have slowed down, this is able to be activated manually or automatically when the user is in danger.  
****The user is unharmed by the various effects of rapid acceleration  
****+20 DEX Every Level**

And with that, I finished with the Perks.

I'll admit, seeing all these abilities has definitely made me power-hungry, every time I pulled the lever I just wanted to get every single one of the Perks that appeared.

Still, I feel very confident in the fact that I chose the right Perks, and now, time for the Skills.

* * *

**\/-\/**

* * *

Yet again I started pulling the leaver repeatedly waiting for the moment a named Skill would show up, after a few hours, most probably thanks to the **«****The Luck of the Nameless God****»** Perk, I came across a named Skill, but this one was pretty weird.

**【****Sacred Gear****[Lv. 0/10]****】**

_The Sacred Gear is locked and therefore gaining any information about it is impossible at the moment._

**? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?**

Sacred Gear? Those are from DxD, right?

Even though it was a Named skill I was planning on skipping it seeing as I didn't have any info about it and I could be getting trash but after a few minutes of thinking I remembered the Luck Perk I had.

"Any good thing that might happen to the user will happen, or at least that's how it goes..."

Thinking about it, this Sacred Gear could even be a Longinus like the Boosted Gear or the Divine Dividing...

【**Do you wish to keep ****«****Sacred Gear****»****?****】**

【**Yes|No】**

Trusting my Perk, I pressed on Yes and went back to pulling the lever with my final coin.

* * *

**\/-\/**

* * *

Honestly, as I kept pulling the lever I kept getting odd Skills which I honestly didn't know if I wanted to pick, don't get me wrong, Necromancy and Mind Manipulation abilities seemed nice and all but I didn't feel comfortable with them, they felt like the kind of abilities your parents would tell you to stay away from lest you fall a wrong path.

As I kept pulling the lever I finally gave up after I saw Skills like Eromancy and Sex Inducement, someone had to be trying to fuck with me.

Eventually, I came across a good skill that wasn't as weird as the rest.

**【Master ****Sealing****[Lv. 1/10]****】**

_The user has the ability to Seal almost anything, the cost of MP of this Skill is related to the strength of what the user is trying to seal._

**The user is able to Seal objects, people, entities, into objects, people or locations.  
The user is able to seal his Skills and Perks or those of others, the former costing a minuscule amount of MP.**

It might not be as great as a Sacred Gear or an OP Luck Perk but it was good enough.

【**Do you wish to keep ****«Master Sealing****»****?****】  
**【**Yes|No】**

Tapping the word yes the Slot Machine suddenly took off the ground and flew up to the sky, I, naturally and calmly watched it go, I definitely didn't shriek and fall on my ass, nope, that didn't happen.

As I stood up a new message appeared in front of me in the same gold and white window.

【**Your transfer will begin in 60 seconds...****】  
**【**You've acquired the ****«****Basic Skills****» Set****】  
**【**The Perk ****«The ****Cruse of The Rotten Goddess****»**** has been forced upon you****】**

The what of the what now?

Hold the fucking phone, what the fuck do you mean a perk has been forced upon me?

Quickly moving through the menus I went to the perks I had gained and under the two I chose there was the one I didn't recognize.

**【The Curse of The Rotten Goddess****】**

_A special type of Goddess took interest on the user and has forced upon him a Perk._

**Affection Gain with Male characters multiplied by 4.  
Initial Affection with Male Characters +30.  
****Male Characters will change slowly as affection progresses to suit the User's taste.  
Affection Gain with Female Characters divided by 4.  
****Initial Affection with Female Characters -50.  
The user doesn't feel sexually or emotionally attracted to Females.**

WHAT.

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN "THE USER DOESN'T FEEL ATTRACTED TO FEMALES"?!

WHAT'S WITH THIS SHIT?!

【**Your transfer will begin in 5 seconds...****】**

Reading the small pop up window I screamed at the void.

"STOP! I NEED ANSWERS! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SH-"

【**Your transfer will begin in 0 seconds...****】  
**

And just like that my world went black yet again.

* * *

**\/-\/**

* * *

Well, now this is awkward...

I was certainly surprised when the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was a noose around my neck as I was hanging from a pillar in the ceiling, feeling the danger my Speedster Perception automatically activated and everything was in slow motion, the noose around my neck still hurt like a bitch though, as if by reflex or maybe pure adrenaline I started vibrating but it seemed like my speed wasn't quite enough to phase through the noose, instead, I started channelling the vibrations towards my hand and used that as a blade to cut the noose, my body fell quickly to the floor as the Perception de-activated and I was on my knees gasping for air.

Slowly the memories started to fill my brain, the memories of this life and all the events that had happened before I came here, I, apparently, now was a 15-year-old named Hayate Oda, a half-foreign half-Japanese it seems if the image on the mirror next to me is anything to go by, black hair and blue eyes with an unfriendly gaze, born to be a delinquent I guess, anyways as I was saying, I apparently now was orphan who was left in front of an Orphanage with nothing but a small note with my name written on it, as the years went by I slowly became friends with the people of the Orphanage but as they left I stayed here, eventually, the old man that took care of all the kids here died from cancer, his last wish for me to take care of the kids and help them, and feeling the weight of the responsibilities on myself I decided to take my own life.

"Sheesh, what a pathetic but understandable reason..."

Standing up from the ground I lightly touched my neck and noticed a small amount of smoke was coming out of it, probably the Speedster Regeneration doing its thing.

First thing I did after I stood up was to put everything in its place, I took the noose and threw it in the bin, the chair that was knocked over I put inside the desk where it usually went.

Sighing to myself I wondered.

"What am I gonna do now..?"

As I murmured that to myself two pop-ups appeared in the gold and white window.

【**Quest ****«****That's Life!****» has been started!****】  
**

"That's life..?"

Are you mocking me you shit? I'll beat you up...

Sighing to myself again, I closed the pop-up and another pop-up appeared behind it, this one though was pretty worrying.

**【WARNING】  
**【**The Perk ****«****Speedster Physiology****» doesn't have enough stored energy in the form of calories!****】  
**【**The Perk ****«****Speedster Physiology****» will now start consuming Muscle Mass(Physical Stats) until it consumes the Brain!****】  
**

What.

The shock of that simple statement hit me with a Stun Debuff, my mind quickly racing I realized I had the perfect skill for this moment.

"Seal «Speedster Physiology»!"

A small floating -10MP appeared and disappeared in a second showing me the skill had been used.

Hurriedly I said those words and just as quickly as I said them, black chains with red vein-looking accents came from my chest and wrapped around my whole body.

【**The Perk ****«****Speedster Physiology****» has been sealed!****】  
**【**The User won't be able to use this Perk until it is un-sealed****!****】  
**【**The Perk ****«****Human Physiology(Fake)****» has been obtained!****】  
**

Well, that's one thing off my mind for the moment.

Jesus... I almost had a heart attack, just got reborn again and I almost died.

Sighing to myself, sheesh hasn't even been 5 minutes and I'm sighing again already, gotta stop doing that, happiness escapes with each sigh and all that.

I opened the menu and went to check the «Human Physiology(Fake)» perk.

**【****Human Physiology(Fake)****[****Basic****]****】**

_The user possesses a normal human body created by a higher being to replace their sealed body._

**The user possesses the same abilities and limitations any normal human could possess.**

"Well, that sucks..."

No use crying over spilt milk, I opened the Quest menu and looked at the Quest I had gained.

**【****That's Life!****】****  
**_And as funny as it may seem, some people get their kicks!  
Stomping on a dream!_

_Objectives_**  
Get 1,000,000 Yen to pay back to the Debt Collectors [_]  
Get ****555,000**** Yen to ****Feed the children and other teens living in the Orphanage**** [_]****  
****? ? ? ? ?****[_]  
****? ? ? ? ?****[_]**

_R__ewards_**  
****Being Free of Debt  
The Appreciation of The Children and Teens Living in the Orphanage  
****? ? ? ? ?  
****? ? ? ? ?****  
**

Well, that doesn't seem so hard, especially with «The Luck of the Nameless God» Perk.

I closed the window and decided to look at the «Basic Skills» set I had gained and didn't have time to check thanks to the shock of coming across that stupid perk.

Opening the Menu and going into the Skills section I saw a few new skills.

**【ID Create/Destroy****[Lv. 1/10]****】**

_The user has the ability to create and destroy an Instantaneous Dungeon where enemies will appear._

**The Following are the available dungeons:  
1.- Zombies**

Just one huh? Guess I'll have to level that up to get more variety.

**【Observe****[Lv. 1/10]****】**

_The user has the ability to translate the capabilities of a being into a status page._

**Shows HP and MP.  
Shows Level.  
Shows Title.**

That's it? Well, I guess they call it a Basic Skill Set for a reason.

As I moved through the menus I decided to open up my Status page.

**Name:** Hayate Oda  
**Title:** n/a  
**Race:** Human(Fake)  
**Level:** 0**  
EXP:** 0/400  
**HP:** 20/20  
**MP:** 16/16

**STR:** 0.1  
**VIT:** 0.1  
**DEX:** 0.1  
**INT:** 0.1  
**WIS:** 0.1  
**CHA:** 0.1  
**Status Points:** 0

I stopped myself from sighing and made a mental note to start training stats before I get swatted like a fly.

Before I could do anything else, a hard knock came from the door and the voice of a young kid could be heard.

"Nii-chan! They're back!"

What?

"Please hurry!"

Without thinking it twice I went outside to look at what was going on.

As I went outside I realized there was a screaming match going on between 2 grown men in suits and a few teens and children.

I quickly used Observe as I looked at the men.

【**Name: Ichirou Sasaki****】  
**【**Title: Bottom Feeding Yakuza****】  
**【**Level: 1****】  
**【**HP: 102/102****】  
**【**MP: 0/0****】****  
**

【**Name: Masaki Sato****】  
**【**Title: Bottom Feeding Yakuza****】  
**【**Level: 1****】  
**【**HP: 100/100****】  
**【**MP: 0/0****】**

Oh, Lord... Aren't tutorial Mobs supposed to be easy?

These shitty tutorial mobs can kill me in 4 hits...

I obviously can't win this with Strength so the obvious and remaining answer is, persuasion.

I shove one hand in my pocket and scratch my head with the other as I slowly walk over to them.

"Shut the fuck up brat! If you don't bring out the Old Man we're gonna kill all of you!"

A forceful girl, which my memories told me was called Akira Kumagawa who couldn't be any older than 13, kept screaming back at them.

"Try it then! The old man is dead! But I can still break your stupid face!"

As the man in the suit raised his arm up to strike the girl and she covered her body while trembling a bit, I quickly raised my voice and spoke as fiercely as I could trying to put up an act similar to what an Anime delinquent would be like, Lord please let this work...

"Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!"

The both of them turned their eyes toward me, the man scowling and the girl surprised.

"Hayate-nii?!"

The man put his hand down and started walking towards me.

"Who the fuck are you?"

Glaring back at the man I said with a forceful tone.

"Only a fucking idiot doesn't introduce himself first, especially when they're in someone else's home..."

The man spoke in a low voice as he came closer to me.

"What did you say?"

【**You've acquired the Skill ****«****Provocation****»!****】  
**【**You've acquired the Skill ****«****Intimidation****»!****】****  
**

Nice! Perfect! Just what I need right now.

I started channelling the «Intimidation» Skill in my brain as I kept Glaring at the man, something that helped a lot was the fact that I seemed to be taller than all the people in the room.

"Didn't you hear me? Are you also deaf apart from being a fucking Idiot?"

【**«****Intimidation****» Successful!****】**

The man actually looked taken aback for a bit and looked toward my hand, I too looked there and noticed I now had a pattern along my body all the way to my neck resembling chains.

I took the hand that wasn't on my pocket and put it in the inside part of my jacket and made a gesture as if I was grabbing something.

"Back off, this is the first warning..."

That seems to have taken off guard the man as he actually started to walk back to the other man and whispered something to him, the man's eyes suddenly opened more than they normally were and looked in my direction as I started walking towards them.

"Get out of our home."

I said those words as I was standing 5 meters away from them, the previous man was now behind the other as if behind cover, the man in front I could notice some beads of sweat forming in his forehead.

"You're bluffing..."

He said with an odd tone on his voice, I took a step forward with a glare still on my face.

"I don't care if you think I'm bluffing, who are the police gonna believe? Me, a teenager trying to protect his home from some thugs as he came across a gun carried by one of the said thugs, or you, a bottom-feeding Yakuza who raises his hand toward children? Tell me now, Ichirou-kun, who do you think they are gonna believe..?"

As I said those last words I started to slowly take my hand out of my jacket as I smiled in the most creepy way I could muster.

【**«****Intimidation****» has been Successful!****】  
**【**Perk ****«****The Luck of the Nameless God****» has altered the results!****】  
**【**«****Intimidation****» has been an Epic Success!****】  
**

The Yakuza tried to run away as he saw what I was doing but got tangled up with his own feet and fell face first.

"A-Aniki!"

The other man crouched to try and help him up.

"What are you doing idiot?! Run!"

One ran upright as the other crawled-ran behind him.

Eventually, they left and all that remained in the Orphanage was silence.

"Well, that was a bit awkward, haha..."

As I said those words the children started surrounding me and looking me with eyes filled with awe.

"Nii-san that was awesome!"

"How did you do that just with your eyes?! Do you have an evil eye or was it genjustsu!?"

"Nii-chan teach me to talk like you!"

"Aniki! Where did you get those tattoos?! I want some too!"

Slowly I tried to calm the children down, as I was doing that my eyes met with Akira's and I walked towards her.

She instantly started to look at the floor instead of me, she started playing with her hands and didn't meet my eyes.

"Akira."

I said her name and she looked up at me.

"I was just tryin-"

I quickly cut her off.

"Thank you."

That made her open and close her mouth like a fish.

I simply gave a small chuckle and ruffled her hair.

"Were it not for you I don't know what those men would have done to the children, so thank you Akira."

"Ah... You're welcome..?"

She said not really knowing how to reply.

I simply chuckled again until a kid no older than 6 took my hand.

"Nii... I'm hungry..."

I looked around and they all shared the same look, they seemed hungry but the older ones didn't say much, it seems the monetary problem was messing with their bodies as well as most of them looked way too thin.

I walked to the fridge and looked at the 3 pieces of meat, some vegetables and a gallon bottle filled with water.

You can't feed 17 kids with this...

As I saw that I realized there were pop-ups in the menu area.

【**Battle Results****】  
****Casualties:** 0**  
****EXP:** 500XP

**_Rewards  
_**_555,000.00 Yen_

【**You've Leveled up!****】  
**【**«****Intimidation Lv.1****»**** is now ****«Intimidation Lv.4»****!****】**

Holy! That's a lotta money!

But wait, where is it?

"Nii-san! There are two wallets over here!"

Smiling to myself I went over to the children that called me.

If I remember correctly his name is Shouta Miyazaki.

"Give 'em to me Shouta-kun."

He simply nodded and gave them to me, I opened it and found my loot, each of these shitheads had 277,500 Yen.

I smiled and started walking towards the entrance of the Orphanage.

"I'm going out for a bit! Watch the house okay?"

I got back a lot of Yeses from the kids and the few teens.

Well, time to go grocery shopping.

* * *

**\/-\/**

* * *

"Good night, Hiro-kun."

"Night Aniki!"

As I put the last kid to sleep after dinner, I sat myself on the Kitchen table to think.

I had gained a cooking skill which quickly went from Basic level up to Intermediate just from cooking to this quantity of people, it was honestly amazing how easy it was to level up the skills, banzai for very easy mode!

As I was thinking about the events that happened during the whole day I remembered that I had gained a level.

I opened my Status page and saw that the previous 0 on Status Points had now a 5.

I put one on each Stat except CHA, for the moment it was the stat I needed the less.

【**Lifting Strength: **30kg → 300kg**】  
**【**HP: **20 → 205**】  
**【**Speed: **1.25m/s → 12.5m/s**】  
**【**MP: **16 → 160**】  
**

When I finished doing that an immense pain spread through my whole body, slowly I felt my bones creaking and changing position and my muscles pulse with intense heat, eventually, it calmed down.

I stood up and went to my room, which was the previous room of the old man, and looked at the mirror.

My body now looked like an Olympic Lifters body, similar to those of Lu Xiaojun or Dmitry Kloklov.

I took my shirt off and looked at my body, a powerful core accompanied by a strong upper and lower body, I continued appreciated my own body as I flexed my muscles and made stupid poses.

"Hey Hayate-nii, I heard some sou-"

We locked eyes.

"Ah... this is..."

"I'll come back later..."

"O-Okay..."

And like that Akira entered and exited the room.

I buried my face in my hands and tried my best to not get embarrassed, unfortunately, I failed miserably.

* * *

**\/-\/**

* * *

After a bit had passed and it was midnight I finally got to work on what I had written through the day on my mental list.

First, Unlock the Sacred Gear, preferably inside an ID in case it makes some kinda sound.

Second, train my stats.

Third, find a way to get enough calories to permanently use «Speedster Physiology».

Fourth, get a cute boyfr-

Wait, what?! when did that one get there?!

I could hear some giggling in the back of my mind, somewhere.

Anyways.

Let's get on with the first one then.

Readying myself I said in a very low, almost murmur, type tone.

" «ID Create: Zombies» "

As soon as the words left my mouth, the whole scenery changed, I was no longer on my room standing up but in an empty street with ominous aura.

"Well, that was kinda quick."

Musing for a few seconds I quickly started thinking about how to activate the Sacred Gear.

"Think about the strongest thing you know huh..."

Saber's Excalibur? Nah...

The Tsar Bomba? I've never actually seen footage of it so I don't know how that would look...

AH! I got it! Doctor Manhattan! remembering how he disintegrates people just with a wave...

Concentrate on that feeling...

As I was concentrating, suddenly, on my lower face, from my nose to my neck, spread some kind of mask made from some metallic obsidian material and jagged teeth on it, when I opened my mouth the only thing that could be seen on the inside was a pure black void, the mask also came with some red gems where the Jaw hinges are supposed to be.

I touched it a little as I saw my reflection in a pond of water in the ground and it felt both organic and metallic.

【**Congratulations you've unlocked your****«****Sacred Gear****»****!****】**

【**«****Sacred Gear Lv.0****»**** is now ****«Eternal Devourer Lv.1»****!****】****  
**

I quickly moved to the Skills in the Menu and took a look at what I had gained.

**【****Eternal Devourer****[Lv. 1/10]****】**

_This Sacred Gear contains The Dragon God World-Eater who is said to come from a completely different world._

**The user is able to Devour whole beings and absorb their Skills, Perks and Stats through eating their Souls or their Physical Body.  
_Currently Only able to Devour:_  
_1 Skill_  
_1 Perk_  
_10% of Stats_**

Well, that just checked everything in my mental list.

Guess all that's left is levelling up.

_**"Who dares take power from me..?"**_

Ah... Nothing ever is easy...

I could see the Gems on the sides glow red as the voice spoke in my brain.

_**"You take my power and yet you do not even have the courtesy to greet me? Such arrogance..."**_

Before I could reply a Pop-up window appeared in front of me.

【**Affection with World-Eater Decreased by 5!****】  
**

【**Dragon God, Alduin****】  
**【**Affection: **30 → 25**】  
**

Oh fuck.

Quickly reply with anything before he gets even angrier.

"Uh sorry, I was simply stunned by your beautiful voice that I couldn't reply with enough haste..."

What.

_**"What..?"**_

Why did I say that?

Oh fuck, he's gonna eat me alive or kill me somehow, I simply know it.

God damn it...

_**"Me..? An all-powerful Dragon God and World-Eater, beautiful..?"**_

"Yes..?"

Suddenly and all-consuming laugh reverberated in my head.

_**"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT AN AMUSING MORTAL!"**_

A pop-up notification appeared and I read it quickly.

【**Affection with World-Eater Increased by 20!****】  
**

【**Dragon God, Alduin****】  
**【**Affection: **25 → 45**】**

Holy shit, 20? Where did- Oh wait, Alduin is referred to as male right..?

Oh Lord, why...

_**"Never before in my Eternal Life have I encountered a Mortal who isn't mad who would call a creature like me beautiful, tell me, mortal, what is your name?"**_

"Uh, It's Hayate Oda."

_**"Quite the odd name... Are you not a Breton? At least that is what you look like, not that I'd care, I never really remember the faces of the arrogant mortals I devoured in Sovngarde."**_

Ah, that confirms it then, this is THE Alduin, as in the Final Boss from Skyrim.

That Perk really is a double-edged sword...

"Ehem, Lord Alduin, by any chance do you know where you are?"

There was silence for a minute and then a pulse of red energy came out from the red gems, after that the Dragon God replied.

_**"I don't seem to be in Mundus anymore... Ah, I remember now... I was banished by that wretched and so-called "Dragonborn"! Such arrogance! To carry the name of the Dovah yet to not be able to even know our tongue!"**_

Listening to Alduin rant for a bit and after a while with a lot of cursing the Dovahkiin, he finally asked something.

_**"Where am I, Mortal?"**_

Searching through my memories I found where we were, a small town in Japan called... Kuoh... Fuck...

"Well, the answer is quite a bit convoluted, right now? We're in a dimension apart from reality where monsters are summoned and I can become more powerful by killing said monsters, Out of here? We'd be in a little town in the Country of Japan, about 4.54 billion years since the existence of the World, ah, this Town is also a hotspot for Devils Angels and other Mythological beings, even the 2 Dragon Emperors-"

As I was going in quick succession about where we were Alduin spoke.

_**"The Two Dragon Emperors? Some bottom-feeding Dragon out there actually dares to call themselves Emperor? Even more so there is two of them? Such arrogance..."**_

Giving a few coughs I continued.

"Well, the two Dragons are The Welsh Dragon Y Ddraig Goch and The White Dragon Albion Gwiber, currently sealed inside a Sacred Gear, just like you Lord Alduin."

After more questions and explanations about Sacred Gears, Gods, Mythical beings and the difference between this Earth and Mundus, Alduin finally spoke.

_**"Mortal, No, Hayate."**_

What's this? Did I trigger a flag? Am I gonna have an "event" with a 20 metre Dragon now?!

"Y-Yes, Lord Alduin?"

_**"I want you to become my Prophet and get me these so-called Dragon Emperors, this is a request, not an order, you've been the first understanding mortal I've come across that didn't cause me disgust and pure hatred, so I'll allow you to deny this request if you want and I won't speak of it again."**_

What... I mean, if I were, to be honest, I was kinda thinking about doing it anyway... The moment I found out it was Kuoh the only thing I could think about was the Boosted Gear and the Divine Dividing, the thought of just having such powerful Skills in my hands made me extremely greedy and salivate for power.

Was I sick? Probably.

Did I care? A bit.

Would I stop? Hahaha! No.

"Lord Alduin, I was actually already planning on it, I'm quite ashamed to admit this but I am quite Greedy, the abilities possessed by the Two Dragons are quite amazing, and I was thinking of somehow getting those for myself."

Honesty is the best policy or so they say, who is they? I don't know.

Alduin simply stayed silent for a bit and laughed yet again.

_**"Hahahahahaha! Truly! You truly are quite the interesting mortal! So it is done Hayate! Together, my dear Prophet, we shall conquer this puny world!"**_

Not really knowing what to do I simply stayed quiet and tried my best to smile, this is kinda awkward no?

【**Affection with World-Eater Increased by 40!****】  
**

【**Dragon God, Alduin****】  
**【**Affection: **45 → 85**】**

【**You've acquired the Perk ****«Dragon Soul****» from reaching an Affection Goal!****】  
**【**You've acquired the Title ****«****Prophet of The World-Eater****»!****】**

_**"Hayate, your Soul just changed, what did you do?"**_

The voice of Alduin filled with curiosity reached my ears.

I closed the notification windows and started to explain to Alduin the powers I gained.

_**"Impressive, to be able to gain power in such a way, it's something I have never thought possible before, yet again, it is not like I need the power, and to think there are still some beings that believe me to be weak... Such arrogance..."**_

"The power I gained just now is called «Dragon Soul»."

_**"A Dragon's soul and a mortal's body, like that wretched "Dovahkiin"?"**_

Ah, shit, quickly searching for words to reply I opened my mouth but Alduin beat me to it.

_**"Hahahaha! You should have seen your face Hayate! I know you are nothing like that arrogant mongrel my dear Prophet, don't worry, I was merely jesting."**_

"Haha, you really got me there my Lord..."

Jesus Christ is this what it's gonna be like from now on?

Wait, Alduins voice is a bit different, at the start of the conversation it was deeper and more End-of-the-world like, but now it's even a bit cute...

Oh no...

Oh, Lord...

I'm gonna ignore it, that's the best for my mental health.

I went to my Menu and opened the Perks list.

**【Dragon Soul****】**

_The user possesses a link to the Soul of the World-Eater Dragon God, allowing them to use some of his abilities._

**The user can create, shape and manipulate draconic energy, the actions made with this ability will consume MP.**  
**The user can manipulate the draconic elements in various offensive and defensive styles.  
The user is able to generate and manipulate energy within them in a way that allows them to shape the exhaling of the effect.  
The user is able to use the power of the Voice, a power that only a few Mortals can wield.  
****The user has a force of will comparable to the World-Eater himself, this enables ****them to be immune to all forms of temptation including Subordination Manipulation, Telepathy, Mind Control, and Subliminal Seduction.**

"Now I wish I had seen Fairy Tail, I'm pretty sure that'd give me more ideas in how to use this Perk..."

_**"Hmmm? What is it, my dear Prophet?"**_

As Alduin spoke directly into my brain I had a thought, since the Perk says we share a link maybe I can send information over that link?

"Uh, Lord Alduin, may I try another way to send you information?"

Without waiting much Alduin simply replied.

_**"Go ahead."**_

And so I tried sending over the link the information I had seen of the perk.

_**"Amazing, I can see some kind of scroll in front of me with information... Linked together it says..."**_

"Ah! I apologize if that bothers you, I don't really control how my power works..."

I quickly apologized as to not anger the Dragon God.

_**"No... in fact for some reason... it makes me feel..."**_

Alduin's cute voice slowly faded as he kept seemingly talking to himself in murmurs, suddenly another notification appeared.

【**Affection with World-Eater Increased by 20!****】  
**

【**Dragon God, Alduin****】  
**【**Affection:** 85→ 100**】  
**【**Loyalty:** 0→ 5**】  
**

【**You've acquired the Skill ****«Temporary Break****» from reaching an Affection Goal!****】  
**

Going back yet again, I open my menu and go to the Skill section where I find the new skill.

**【****Temporary Break****[Lv. 10/10]****】**

_Allows for a temporary connection to form directly from the World-Eater's Soul to the user's Soul giving a portion of his power to the user._

**The user gets a 20x Stat multiplier and multiple abilities related to the World-Eating Dragon God for the next 1 Minute and 15 Seconds ****in exchange of 50% of his Stats after the transformation ends****.**

**This Skill can only be used once every 3 Months.  
**

Kind of a vague ability but seems useful in a pinch.

Now that I think about it hasn't it been quite some time? Like, shouldn't there be Zombies or something in here?

"Uh, Lord Alduin, do you know why there are not any monsters here?"

_**"Huh? Oh! That! I froze time."**_

"Ah, so you froze time..."

What a nonchalant tone in which you say something like that!

"Uh, Can you unfreeze it so I can start getting stronger and stuff?"

_**"Of course."**_

And just like that, another pulse of red energy went off from the Gems and into the area, now I could hear the moaning of the dead in the distance.

"Man, to control time just like that, something like that sure is cool..."

As I talked to myself I started walking towards where I could hear the horde.

* * *

**\/-\/**

* * *

Walking towards the horde I found myself in front of thousands of the walking dead.

Well, how am I gonna do this now...

Slowly thinking of what to do as I look towards the horde I eventually reach a good way to eliminate the living dead.

"Seal Remove «Speedster Physiology»!"

【**The Perk ****«****Speedster Physiology****» has been un-sealed!****】  
**【**The Perk ****«****Speedster Physiology****»**** has been obtained!****】**

The chain markings slowly receded back into my chest until they disappeared, I tried vibrating my hand a bit and I could see it blurring and emitting a low humming sound.

Jumping a bit on my feet I tried running around the neighbourhood, in about 10 seconds I finished.

"Whew... this feels good..."

As I'm back again in front of the horde I ready myself, I activate Speedster Perception and the moans become slowed down and the slow Zombies become even slower almost as if stopped in time.

As I start running with my hands vibrating I cut the head off the first Zombie I encounter.

I see a floating 381 in red as the Zombie's head falls extremely slowly from its body thanks to the Speedsters Perception.

Should I just eat it now..?

I came close to the body of the Zombie and a word appeared in my brain, subconsciously, I said it.

"**«Devour»**"

Suddenly my mouth opened and my body in a robotic and automatic way picked up the corpse and shoved it inside it.

【**Comsumption Report****】  
** _**500 EXP**_  
_**1 Chosen Skill**_  
_**1 Perk**_  
_**+0.1 To All Stats**_

Well...

That was disgusting...

The after taste of rotting meat permeated my mouth as I spit on the ground.

Two windows asking me whether or not I wanted to choose the skill and perk appeared, I choose to see the list of perks and skills and unsurprisingly I found nothing of value to pick.

I decided not to pick anything and simply closed the windows.

As I did so I remembered the damage I dealt, it wasn't even 500 which meant something was wrong.

If I was correct vibrating my hand in a certain frequency and speed should give a similar effect to a High-Frequency Blade from Metal Gear, but as far as I was concerned the cut I made with my hand was more similar to a rusty Machete than a hot Muramasa going through butter.

I started walking towards a Zombie as I gave a quick prayer.

"Thank you for volunteering as my test subject, I promise I'll be quick."

Slowly I began trying out different frequencies, eventually, I came across what I was looking for while testing on Mr Zombie.

My hand looked like it was barely moving but if one were to be close enough one could see the rapid vibrations.

I made a quick slash to the Zombies' head and my hand passed through it as if it was air.

【**1,536 Damage Dealt!****】  
**【**New Skill Created!****】  
**【**How would you like to name the Skill?****】  
**

HOLY THAT'S A LOTTA DAMAGE!

Uh, A name, what's a cool name?

Infinity Blade? No, it's not really infinite.

What if I name it after the Black Racer, something like Black Blade? God that sounds awful, and just hearing the name Black Racer makes me get shivers now, must be a part of being a Speedster.

Uh, Unseen Blade? Yeah, that's good enough, doesn't sound too bad and it's pretty accurate.

"Unseen Blade."

【**Skill ****«Unseen Blade» has been added to Skill List!****】**

Nice.

Well, now that the damage problem has been fixed, time to start Leveling.


	2. Chapter 2

_SLASH_

The head of the Zombie starts to slowly fall to the ground in the slowed time.

And that's the 149th.

One left from the horde and I'm done with this shit, gotta admit, like everything at first it was fun and I got that adrenaline/dopamine combined reaction but, after a while, it just became completely and utterly tedious.

Kind of reminded me of my days farming gold as a part-time job, even though eventually I ran out of a job after being utterly destroyed by the Chinese gold farmers.

I will never forgive the Chinese...

As I kept strolling through the Instant Dungeon I eventually came across who I was looking for.

"Hey, little buddy! Ready to become my meal?"

Obviously, the Zombie didn't answer back but a couple of hours alone make you try to find a way to entertain yourself, my way was to taunt my undead opponents.

Unhurriedly, I started to walk in the direction of the Zombie.

_SLASH_

【**1,536 Damage Dealt!****】  
**

And that makes 150, ah how I love round numbers...

I automatically opened my mouth and ate the Zombie whole, at this point the taste didn't bother me as much.

Human adaptability Banzai~!

For some reason I hadn't levelled up at all during the killing of the Zombies, maybe it was something similar to accumulative experience?

As I turned off Speedster Perception, multitudes of popups appeared in front of me.

【**You've finished defeating the horde!****】**

【**Battle Results****】  
****Casualties:** 150**  
****EXP:** _75,000XP_

**_Rewards  
_**_ 16,703,850 Yen  
90,000 Tokens_

【**You've Leveled up multiple times!****】  
**【**«Eternal Devourer Lv.1»**** is now ****«Eternal Devourer Lv.10»****!****】  
**【**«Unseen Blade Lv.1»**** is now ****«Unseen Blade Lv.10»****!****】  
**【**«Observe Lv.1»**** is now ****«Observe Lv.7»****!****】****  
**

【**Comsumption Report****】  
**_**150 Skills**_  
_**150 Perks**_  
_**+15 To All Stats but LCK & CHA**_

"Tokens..?"

What the fuck are those?

The windows filled my view and in a try to get them off my face I simply clicked accept on most of them, accidentally I ended up clicking the button Accept All on the consumption report and notifications yet again started to flood my view.

"Ah shit."

【**You've acquired the Skill ****«Basic ****Bite****»!****】  
**【**You've acquired the Perk ****«****Ghoul Physiology****»!****】**

**【**«Basic Bite Lv****.1»****** is now ****«Basic Bite L****v.10»****!****】  
****【**«Basic Bite Lv.10» ********has evolved into ******«Novice Lacerate Lv.1»****!****】  
**【**«****Ghoul Physiology****»**** has evolved into ****«****V****ampire Thrall Physiology»!****】**

This continued for about 3 minutes until it finally stopped.

**【«Divine Mutilation Lv.1» is now «Divine Mutilation Lv.10»!】  
****【«Divine Mutilation Lv.10» has evolved into «The Art of Carving Lv.1»!】  
**【**«Vampire Lord Physiology» has evolved into «True Vampire Physiology»!】**

Well, turns out the Zombies' Skills and Perks aren't as useless as I thought...

I closed the final notification and opened the menu, first, I checked the Skill.

**【****The Art of Carving****[Lv. 1/10]****】**

_Wounds can sometimes be as beautiful as they are lethal._

**The user is able to dodge attacks from the target easily while moving around them.  
The user can detect weak points in their target and attack them as fluidly as water.  
The user has a complete understanding of the anatomy of the target.  
When using any type of bladed weapons the user gains the buff «The First Concept»**

That's...

So god damn ambiguous...

What does any of this mean? Is it really that hard to just put numbers on the Skills so I can go 'Yes, number up means good.'

Jesus Christ all mighty...

Quickly vanishing the annoyance from my mind, I opened up the Perks menu to look for the Perk I had gained.

**【****True Vampire Physiology[Divine]****】**

_The user is a true vampire who is and will always be the first of their kind._

**The user can shapeshift their form, transforming and reshaping themselves potentially down to their genetic and cellular structure.  
****The user is immortal, invulnerable to damage of targets 120 Levels bellow the user's and immune to all diseases.  
The user has a greater affinity with the Dark Element, giving them easier control of it.  
The user is resistant to sunlight, fire and other weaknesses possessed by lower-tier vampires.  
The user can use their Authority as an ancestor to make lower-levelled targets of the same race submit.  
****The user's basic capabilities are greatly increased in the form of:  
**【**HP & MP Regeneration Time:** Per Minute → Per Second**】  
**【**Stats Gained Per Level: **0 → 5**】  
**【**Status Points Per Level: **5 → 25**】  
**【**Base Stat Multiplier: **1x → 2.5x**】**

"..."

Seems like yet again I've gained something ridiculous...

I opened my Status page to see the changes made.

**Name:** Hayate Oda  
**Title:** Prophet of The World-Eater  
**Race:** Homo Superior | True Vampire  
**Level:** 15**  
EXP:** 8,500/10,800  
**HP:** 8,200/8,200  
**MP:** 6,400/6,400

**STR:** 40  
**VIT:** 40  
**DEX:** 340  
**INT:** 40  
**WIS:** 40  
**CHA:** 0.25  
**Status Points:** 340

I take it back.

Bring me back to words.

These are too many numbers...

Sighing to myself I decided to think about the 340 Status Points I had, saving them for an emergency seemed to be the best option as I could simply gain stats from training thanks to the «Natural Potential» Perk.

Becoming resolute, I decided to simply leave the Status Points alone until an emergency.

_**"Hayate, you've changed yet again, this time I can detect traces of the First Vampire inside you..."**_

I jump a bit surprised by the cute voice of Alduin seeing as he didn't talk to me at all while I killed the Zombies.

"Ah, yeah, I gained some more Skills from Devouring the Zombies, here I'll send them to you."

Through our mental link, I send the Skills information to Alduin and also take the opportunity to ask why he didn't say anything.

_**"Ah, it seems that while you're in your "Running State" I cannot talk to you, I tried but I just got blocked by some kind of invisible wall."**_

"Hmm, something to figure out another time I guess..."

As I closed the Status Page a notification popped up in front of me.

【**System Compromised, Unauthorized Access!****】**

【**Message received from Lord Justice!****】**

What..?

I tap with my finger on the "Open Message" button.

While doing so a Scroll in parchment paper appears in front of me with letters written on it.

_**For the one chosen by Rot  
**__**I ask of you; Do you believe it's fair?  
To gain such power without any difficulty?  
To gain trust and affection without any struggle?  
To gain things that others spend years of their short lives learning in mere seconds?  
I do not believe it to be so.  
****Your simple existence is a disgusting mess of unfairness.  
Prove yourself and I may turn a blind eye to**** you.**_  
_**Fail, and become one with the rest of souls in the void.  
Prove that you deserve the power you were given, Oda Hayate.**_

_**-Goddess of Justice, Justine-**_

As I finished reading the message it burst into flames as another notification appeared.

【**The Floor Boss is Spawning!****】**

Before I could fully comprehend the notification, it closed.

"Oh? What have we have here?"

I turned my head around at the sound of another human voice.

What greeted me was a tall blonde man with an eccentric taste of clothing, this, of course, was none other than Dio Brando.

"Huh, wasn't expecting that one."

As the words left my mouth Dio raised an eyebrow as he sneered.

"How is it that such a pathetic being like you can defeat the Zombies created by, I, Dio?"

While he stroked his own ego I took the opportunity and used «Observe» on him.

【**Name: Dio Brando****】  
**【**Title: Self-proclaimed Lord of The World****】  
**【**Level: 180****】  
**【**HP: 14,555/14,555****】  
**【**MP: 0/0****】**

Oh shit...

While Dio was still stroking his own ego like a teenager who just discovered masturbation, I activated Speedsters Perception and started to run towards him.

The feeling of moving while time is practically still was weird, it was like walking underwater but you can breathe the water and the water also doesn't slow you down, as I vanished my passing thoughts I concentrated in what was in front of me, when I was about 2 feet near Dio I saw it, his eyes moved, and he was staring directly at me.

I blinked and suddenly I was flying through the air.

【**HP: **8,200 → 5,996**】  
**

"GAH!"

A scream left my mouth as my back crashes against a cement wall going right through it, as I open my eyes to look at Dio I can see he's standing there with his index finger stretched out and a mocking smile on his face.

He only fucking flicked me...

Chills run down my spine thinking about what could have happened if he used his fist, the speed difference, it's way too high...

Slowly I can feel my bones re-arrange and fix themselves in their place while smoke slowly flows from my wounds, it seems my vampire/speedster regeneration is doing its job.

I quickly open my Status Page and in a desperate attempt to keep up I pump 150 Status Points into DEX.

【**DEX: **16 → 166**】**

The final result? A whooping 715 DEX.

I spit out some of the blood in my mouth as I stand up from the rubble my wounds fully healed in the few seconds.

"Was that all you've got? You poor little bastard, I bet even your dead mother could hit harder."

【**«****Provocation****» Successful!****】**

As the words leave my mouth I can see Dio's face frown with intensity as he starts walking menacingly towards me.

Fuck, maybe taunting the undead vampire who has 100+ levels over me isn't the best idea...

I start walking towards him as I activate Speedsters Perception again, as I'm about 5 feet away from him he dashes towards me with his fist closed, not missing the Chance I activate Unseen Blade, I dodge to the side of Dio, there's a clear expression of surprise on his face, focusing on my task at hand I direct my hand towards his neck and slash it.

【 **8,794** **DAMAGE DEALT!****】  
**【 **Boss Health:** 14,555 → 9,769 **】**

"Hah! Get fucked you fucking idio-"

Before I could finish my sentence I am, yet again, thrown through the air, this time a huge hole is on my side.

"BUAGH-!"

A minimum of 3 litres of blood spurt out of my mouth as I crash down the streets and drift through the cement.

【**HP: **8,200 → 150**】  
**【**Perk ****«****The Luck of the Nameless God****» has altered the results!****】  
**【**Due to being focused on getting you away from him instead of killing you Dio has only hit your side****!****】**

I quickly look back at Dio and see it, The World, his fucking stand.

I FORGOT ABOUT HIS FUCKING STAND.

I can see my wounds slowly knitting together as huge quantities of smoke come out from them.

"I'm done being nice."

The words leave my mouth as my defeated body stands up almost automatically, my mind slowly starts to formulate a plan.

I activate «The Art of Carving» on him and immediately my mind is filled with information about Dio, including his weak point.

Now comes the most important part, timing.

I start to walk back to where he is, on his face, a frown is still present, as I get until an adequate distance near him he suddenly pops out of existence and re-appears in front of me, his Stand ready to pummel me to the ground in 3 milliseconds.

Unfortunately for him, I'm a very unfair existence.

"«Seal Stand: The World»"

【**MP: **6,400 → 1,400**】  
**

As the words leave my mouth chains begin to wrap themselves around The World as the stand seemingly de-materializes, the expression of Dio's face as his connection to his stand is severed can be seen clearly as his mouth hangs open in disbelief.

Without wasting time I shove my hand on Dio's chest and start cutting him with «Unseen Blade», at least 160 cuts every half a second flow from my body like water, every single strike directed to an essential body part in the Vampire's body, eventually, Dio's undead body slowly falls to the ground.

【 **Vital Strike Critical Multiplier Added****!****】  
**【 **4,591,944** **DAMAGE DEALT!****】  
**【 **Boss Health:** 5,761 → 0**】**

【**Congratualtions you've defeated the Boss!****】**

Slowly trying to catch my breath with deep inhales and exhales I look at the notification, a smile appears on my face.

"I won bitch..."

I deactivated Speedsters Perception and notifications popped up in front of me.

【**Battle Results****】  
****Casualties:** 1**  
****EXP:** _45,450XP_

**_Rewards  
_**_11,250,000 Yen  
4,500,000 Tokens_

【**You've Leveled up multiple times!****】  
**【**«Observe Lv.7»**** is now ****«Observe Lv.10»****!****】  
**【**«Provocation Lv.1»**** is now ****«Provocation Lv.5»****!****】  
**【**«The Art of Carving Lv.1»**** is now ****«The Art of Carving Lv.2»****!****】****  
**

Did the level 180 Vampire that can stop time give me less XP than grinding Zombies?

How?

What are Tokens anyway?

As the words left my mouth the menu button started to glow a bit with a small red 1 on the corner of it.

When I tapped the button I realized there was a new option in the Menu, the deadly Gacha.

"Ah."

So that's what the tokens are for.

Anyway, I'll check that later.

I look over my body and see my destroyed clothing and a few of my wounds still slowly healing.

"Guess I'll have to buy new clothes later..."

For now, though, time to dig in!

I call out my Sacred Gear and after answering Alduin's questions about what happened I turn to Dio's corpse.

Opening my mouth I call the name of my Sacred Gear and robotically consume the Vampire's body.

Instantly in my mouth, I feel the taste of sweet old wine accompanied by the taste of copper, silver and gold with a bit of raw bloody meat.

At least it wasn't rotten meat this time.

Finishing up with Dio, a popup appears in front of me.

"Give me a Stand! Give me a Stand!"

As I cross my fingers while chanting I finally decide to look at the popup.

【**Comsumption Report****】  
****«****Vaporization Freezing Technique Lv. MAX****» has fully Assimilated!  
Due to Race Level Difference, the Skill has been transformed into:  
****«Zero Death ****Lv. MAX****»  
****«****Space Ripper Stingy Eyes ****Lv. MAX****» has fully Assimilated!  
****Due to Race Level Difference, the Skill has been transformed into:  
****«Soul Cutter ****Lv. MAX****»  
****«Stand: ****The World****» could not be Assimilated!  
Skill ****«Time Stop ****Lv.1» Salvaged!  
****«Stand: ****Spirit Photography****» could not be Assimilated!  
No Skills Salvaged!  
****«Personality Trait: Pride» ****has fully Assimilated!**  
_**+35 To STR & VIT  
**__**+50 To INT & WIS  
+95 To CHA  
+636 To DEX**_

HOLY!

Wait- what does personality trait mean?

Eh, I'll figure it out eventually.

No Stando huh? Shame, guess I'll have to find my own Stand.

Still got Time Stop though, you win some you lose some.

I opened my Skills menu to check the things I got from Dio's corpse.

**【****Zero Death****[Lv. MAX]****】**

_The last thing they'll see before their death is their own tears freeze._

**The user is able to drop his body temperature to Absolute Zero and instantly drain the heat from anything he touches in a mere millisecond.**

**【****Soul Cutter****[Lv. MAX]****】**

_A cut with the power to cut even the immaterial._

**The user is able to project pressurized beams of energy at immeasurable speed and with extreme force.  
The user is able to use MP to charge the beams with different effects.**

**【****Time Stop****[Lv. 1 / 10]****】**

_Through exerting the user's will on the World, Time will be stopped._

**Greatly consumes MP.  
Max Time: 5 Seconds**

I lightly whistle with a smile on my face as I look at the skills I just got.

"Merry Christmas to me..."

Standing up from the ground I began to look around for any signs of threat, luckily for me, another pop-up appeared letting me know the dungeon was about to collapse.

A small counter appeared on the corner of my view with 60 seconds left on it, seeing this I activated Speedster's Perception and ran around the Dungeon City looking if I had missed anything, unsurprisingly, I had not.

After a few runs, the dungeon collapsed and I found myself back in my room, the only difference being, it was now morning.

"Aw, come on, I wanted to sleep."

As I said this to myself in a low voice I could hear some of the kids waking up and talking with each other.

"Guess it's time to work."

I smiled as I remembered how easy it was for me to level up my household skills just by taking care of the children.

Before I forgot I sealed my Skills and Stats to normal human level.

"Seal: «Speedster Physiology» «True Vampire Physiology» «Stats: Peak Human»"

Chains quickly shot out from my heart unto my body and wrapped themselves around me, quickly melting into my skin.

【**The Perk ****«****Speedster Physiology****» has been sealed!****】  
**【**The Perk ****«****True Vampire Physiology****» has been sealed!****】  
**【**The User won't be able to use these Perks until they are un-sealed****!****】  
**【**The Perk ****«****Human Physiology(Fake)****» has been obtained!****】  
**【**Stats have**** been sealed to the limit of ****«Peak Human»****!****】  
**【**STR: **177 → 0.01**】  
**【**VIT: **177 → 1**】  
**【**DEX: **2,355 → 1**】  
**【**INT: **215 → 20**】  
**【**WIS: **215 → 20**】  
**【**CHA: **287 → 20**】****  
**

With that done, I moved to follow the rest of the morning routine.

* * *

"Have a good day Haru!"

"Nii-chan! You're embarrassing me! Go away!"

As I left one of the kids in the front of the gate of the elementary school something came to my mind, apparently, the previous me was planning on gaining a scholarship for, yep you guessed it, Kuoh Academy, this way the cost of living in the orphanage would go down, not that it would be needed to lower costs anymore seeing as just one night of Dungeon hunting left me with about 230k bucks.

I walked towards Kuoh academy as I looked at the GPS on the broken screen of my smartphone, I need to replace this thing as well, how disgraceful would it be to see someone like me with thoroughly used stuff.

Wait, I don't think like that...

Shaking my head out of my thoughts, I arrive at the front gate, "WELCOME APPLICANTS" it says, walking inside I look around and see mostly women and groups of men in casual wear with perverted gazes directed towards the women, ah yes, I forgot, recently co-ed highschool with majority women.

Laughing a bit at both the salivating men and the disgusted women I arrive somewhere I don't recognize, I scratch my head as I look at the GPS, for some reason, it doesn't seem to be working here, I sigh a bit and try to walk around to see if I find anyone that could help me.

While walking I hear a _swoosh_ sound, like something being swung every 0.5 seconds and then resting for 2 seconds, I had gotten very good at recognizing patterns, most probably thanks to my ability.

I start walking towards the sound until I come across a boy, blonde hair, 175cm or 5'8 in burger measurements, and a very athletic build, the boy in question was drenched in sweat as he swung a short sword at a very rapid speed while also keeping his form steady and not making any unnecessary movements, his face had very beautiful lips accompanied by gorgeous eyes and a perfectly placed mole, overall this is what people would call an 11/10.

This boy was clearly Yuuto Kiba.

And for some reason I decided to describe another man as both beautiful and gorgeous, may the Lord help me...

The boy seemed to have noticed me as I stared at him and was very surprised, his expression almost seemed like he was about to become hostile but after looking me over for a bit he changed his expression into a fake smile.

"Hey, sorry but this area is off-limits, you seem like you're here to do the exam right?"

I simply replied with a smug smile.

"If it's off-limits how come you can be here?"

His fake smile is strained a bit as he replies.

"I'm something of a special case."

With the smugness still on my face, I taunt yet again.

"A special case to practice with a deadly weapon?"

With these words, his fake smile was clearly strained as he replied trying not to show how annoyed he was.

"H-Haha, yes, something like that."

A quick "Pfft." escaped my lips as I saw him try his best to not drop his fake smile, hearing the sound that came from my lips a tick appeared on his forehead, seeing this I couldn't hold back and just doubled over laughing in his face, the fake smile was now fully gone and what remained was a clearly annoyed bordering on angry expression.

"Anyways, you have to leave."

Wiping away a small tear forming in the corner of my eyes I simply replied.

"But I'm lost you know? Wouldn't it be a good example if you showed me the way towards the test, Paisen?"

"P-Paisen?"

"Yes, Paisen!"

"I have a name you know?!"

"Is it my fault that you never introduced yourself then, Paisen?"

Shocked and left flabbergasted by my teasing he fumbled with his words a bit, then an idea came to mind.

"How about we do this paisen, I beat you in a sword stick fight and you lead me to where the exams are taking place?"

This time replying with a look that said: "What is wrong with this dude" he crossed his arms.

"And if I were to agree, what do I get if I win?"

Putting my hand to my chin and rubbing the small stubble growing there I replied.

"How about... A favour, you can ask me for anything you want, that is if you're even good enough to win in the first place."

After the small taunt at the end, I could see him scowl lightly as his arms uncrossed.

"I accept, ready to eat dirt kouhai?"

"Geez, at least buy me dinner first before you try to get me into your weird fetishes."

"Wha-!"

Struck dumb by the reply he quickly moved away to go get two bokkens with his face completely red either from embarrassment or humiliation.

When he came back he threw the bokken at me and got in position, I too got in position with a smug smile on my face and mentally activating «The Art of Carving», a small pop-up letting me know the buff could not be applied since there were no bladed weapon equipped appeared and I mentally closed it as I stood in front of Yuuto, who seemingly was very relaxed and unpreoccupied by this fight if I were in his position I would be as well, after all, a human could never beat a Devil, or at least that's what he thinks.

I stand in the basic kendo position as I slowly walk towards Yuuto, without any previous movements Yuuto rushes me planning to end the fight in one strike, unfortunately for him, my skill let me know how to dodge and counter-attack.

I move around him to his right and I see multiple openings, I quickly throw a feint body blow to which he tries to quickly block but after a millisecond he realizes it's a trap, like a cutting flow the bokken quickly moves to the side where his carotid artery is located and I let it lightly rest against it.

I smugly smile as I see his face filled with surprise and incredibility, I lower myself closer to his ear and whisper.

"You're pretty good, Paisen... But it seems like it's my win..."

I pull back and give him some hard pats on the back.

"Come on, I don't wanna be late."

That seemed to put him out of his musings as he looks back and asks.

"How...?"

I simply smile back thoroughly enjoying the situation, humiliating someone stronger than you with pure technique feels good after all.

"A lotta practice!"

As I say this I start pushing him from behind while grabbing his shoulders.

"Come on! I'm gonna be late paisen!"

Yuuto seemingly resigned to the fact that he had lost in such a short amount of time, sighed as he started to walk in front of me.

"Follow me..."

I simply smiled as I put my arm around his shoulder.

"Paisen, you still haven't told me your name."

Looking at my arm wrapping his shoulder and then looking up at my smug expression he simply sighed.

"Kiba Yuuto..."

With a teasing smile on my face, I replied.

"Remember and marvel at the name of the man who beat you Yuu-chan! This one's name is Oda Hayate, Oda as in the clan and Hayate as in the butler."

"Y-Yuu-chan?!"

Quickly flustered by the nickname I chose for him his face went red from either embarrassment or humiliation, I can honestly never tell.

I simply smiled back at him with an evil glint in my eye, I never knew Yuuto was this easy to tease, no wonder onee-sans in animes base their whole personality around teasing, it's way too fun.

"You know, it would be pretty funny if after all this I just failed the exam and we never saw each other again, kinda like some bad bait in an anime."

These words seem to have made him calm down a bit and chuckle, a smile remained on his face as he replied.

"And then you come back as the main antagonist in season 2?"

I smile back.

"Exactly, you know, you look much better when you don't force that fake smile of yours."

As I said those words he seemed to get a bit embarrassed as his cheeks got a small barely noticeable red tint.

"Is that so..."

"It is so."

I quickly replied with the smile still on my face, Yuuto was easy to get along with and seemed like an honestly pretty good person, plus he was also hot and had that twink look that mak-

THOSE ARE NOT MY THOUGHTS.

Quickly shaking my head I remove my arm from Yuuto's shoulder, as I urge him to move faster.

Soon we both reach the entrance of the place where the exams are taking place and as I wave goodbye a small particle of something enters my eye, I quickly close it and open it then turn around to walk towards the exam thing, how embarrassing.

And like that, Yuuto and I parted ways.

"What should I cook tonight..?"

With those thoughts on my mind, I continue walking.

Unbeknownst to him, a small notification was letting him know something but he quickly closed it without reading it.

**{****The Knight of Gremory, Yuuto****}  
**【**Affection**】**[****95****|100]  
**【**Loyalty**】**[15****|100]**

* * *

Yuuto Kiba was confused.

At first, he had thought the man was some kind of evil magician that had infiltrated the magic field put over the old building to assassinate Rias or something similar, after a quick look over he saw he actually was just a normal human, a very athletic one but a human nonetheless.

The man seemed to be lost and searching for the applicant's entrance for the exam taking place for the new year, so he approached and with a smile, he let him know the area was restricted, as the man saw the smile he put up he seemed to have made it his life goal to annoy him until the point it culminated in him sword fighting him, trying his best not to hurt him he didn't use his full power, that seemed to be his mistake, he expected the man to be simply a beginner kendo practitioner with a big ego, unfortunately, he was wrong, the man seemed to have thousands of years of experience using the sword, he identified his weak points and defeated him swiftly, he couldn't believe it.

After a talk and walking with the now named Hayate, Yuuto came to actually like the man, quite a lot actually, he seemed like a good person and when he smiled he always seemed to glow immensely, which, for some reason made him warm inside, he tried to ignore it but Hayate being so close and smelling so good only made him get more confused by all of it.

While walking he could notice some people looking his way and seeing the taller teen with his arm around him, Hayate seemed to notice the looks as well and pulled his arm away from him and shook his head a bit almost as if he didn't want to be a bother to him, he really was a nice person, although his body felt a bit lonely without his touch he continued walking, he tried to shake the thoughts forming in his head about the person he had met not more than 1 hour ago, he was never into men and women were mostly bothersome to him, he like many other men had their own collection of unnameable items underneath his bed, but never in his mind was a man present, Hayate, for some reason, seemed to ignite some kind of emotion inside of him, he didn't know what it was but he would make sure to ignore it.

And like that eventually, their walking had come to an end, as he waved goodbye he saw Hayate wink at him before walking away, he could feel his face heating up but he suppressed it as much as he could as he power walked back to ORC, he quickly said his goodbyes to Rias and the rest and then walked home trying not to think about what had happened today.

This marked the day that Yuuto, for the first time of his life, watched gay porn.

His search history: tall, black hair, muscular, twink.

When he fell asleep it was already 4 am.

* * *

**AN:  
**Finally saved enough for weights, barely 100lb/45kg but enough to not let my gains waste away, quarantine is a bitch.  
Thanks for reading even though this time it's barely 5k words.

Appreciate the reviews, follows and favourites.  
PM's are open.  
See you in a while.


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